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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

D-Talk: Reasons why I'm not angry.

I've decided to label all of my posts about Jameson's journey and the diabetes with "D-Talk."  That way, people can have a general idea whether the post is about Jameson or the family in general, and choose whether or not to read from there. :)


So, it turns out we've gotten a few books and pamphlets to read concerning diabetes.  When I say a few, picture a stack of reading material about three feet high.  I haven't begun to get through it all yet, but I've noticed a re-curring theme in what I have read so far. 

When talking about the feelings that a parent of a T1D child may experience, guilt and anger are always mentioned.  I have experienced a slight bit of guilt (because I feel guilty about 100% of everything regarding my kids....mom-guilt is a monster I fight daily!), but I know that Matt and I did nothing to cause this disease, so that has passed.

But the anger part....I have yet to feel angry about the situation.  I realize that we are a mere week and a half into this journey, and that anger may yet come.  But at this moment, I don't feel it, and wanted to write about why.


I'm thankful!
I know I'm only twelve days into this journey, but the image of my unconscious boy, hooked up to wires, monitors, and tubes is still burned very vividly into my mind.  I'm so thankful to see him giggling, crawling, walking around, and being ornery, that I don't have time to be angry about his diagnosis. 

It could be so much worse.
I have seen so many prayer pages on Facebook and Twitter, lately, for children who have incurable diseases, such as cancer.  My baby isn't going to the hospital every day for chemo or radiation treatments.  He isn't fighting a monster we can't see.  His disease is one we are able to stay on top of, and, as long as we do just that, it won't kill him.

This is manageable.
Similar to the above reason, we are able to stay on top of this disease and keep Jameson's health under control.  With monitoring his diet, several sugar checks, and insulin injections each day, his sugars can stay within a normal range and he can be healthy.

My son can still excel and achieve anything he sets his mind to.
This disease is far from debilitating.  He fortunately didn't suffer any brain damage from the DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis), nor was he born with any disability that keeps him from doing anything.  He can still dream big, and work hard to achieve anything he sets his mind to.

He'll never remember anything other than diabetes.
Jameson is only 16 months old.  He isn't a teenager that hates to be different from his friends.  He is going to grow up learning and knowing what he has to do to keep himself healthy, and he'll never remember what life was like before diabetes.

It gives the rest of us a reason to watch what we eat, and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I think just about every American family could use to improve their diet a bit.  I'm not talking about going completely sugar free.  But we could definitely benefit by consuming less sugar!

Medical technology is awesome.
I won't have to give my child 4 injections a day forever.  I'm sure he'll have an insulin pump within a few years, and the sticks will be every few days, rather than several times a day (other than sugar checks, of course).  I was talking to Dr. Horner yesterday, and he was telling me that, back in the 60's, diabetics went to the doctor once a week and had fasting bloodwork done, which gave them their average sugars for the past week.  They took insulin once a day to control it.  Obviously, blood sugar fluctuates constantly throughout the day, and that system didn't control it very well.  It's much better controlled today than it was in the past, and therefore the health problems are less severe than they used to be.

He inspires me to have a positive outlook.
Whenever I get down about something silly, I can just remember my little man, at 16 months old, holding out his fat little finger for a sugar check, and giggling while he doing it.  Ok, what was my problem again???

I now have a cause behind which I stand.
I'm ashamed to say, I never paid much attention to the JDRF.  I'm sure not many unaffected people do.  But you better believe this is now an organization with a cause behind which I stand.  Why?  (Keep reading.)

There is hope.
My Jamers is only 16 months old, and it's (almost) 2013.  I have full confidence that he will see a cure for this disease in his lifetime.  Medicine and science have come so far.  Our PICU doctor was telling us that they are working on pancreatic cell transplants.  I have faith that the cure will come, and that my baby will see it happen.



As I mentioned at the beginning, I suppose the anger may come some day.  Hopefully, when Jameson or I am sulking about the diabetes down the road, we can look back at this post, and remember why we are blessed, and we can let our anger go, and focus on all the positives in our lives!

2 comments:

  1. It sounds like you are adjusting well, and you are right about all those things. One of the biggest stumbling blocks you will face is the ignorance of other people. Most of the population knows just enough about diabetes to be dangerous. Kaylan has had diabetes now for over 3 years and she still gets some negative treatment from her peers, some have even thought it was contagious, so they kind of "shunned" her so they wouldn't catch it. With the proper management they can do pretty much whatever they want, they can even donate blood. JDRF is a great organization as well as the American Diabetes Assoiciation. Also check out http://www.dyfofindiana.org/ . Obviously this is something that won't happen for awhile, but the DYF has diabetic summer camps, a teen weekend camp and a weekend family camp. I'm not sure if Ohio has a DYF, I'll have to check that out.
    Technology is always improving and that makes life even better. Kaylan has been on the pump for almost 3 years know, pumps have there own challenges, but they are great.
    There will probably be anger, but be assured it does get better.
    Nathan

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Nathan! I do get frustrated by some of the things people say or ask, but honestly, I knew virtually nothing about the disease 12 days ago. :) we've learned a lot, and will continue to do so, I'm sure!

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