Friday, October 18, 2013

D-Talk: Sometimes I Feel Diabetic Dumb

Some days, I feel like I'm a fierce beast that can tame the D monster.  Other days, I'm really not sure why this responsibility was slapped in my lap.  The last 8 hours have been the latter situation.
I’m a light sleeper.  I heard Jameson’s pump alarm beeping at 12:20AM (my alarm clock was set for 12:30 for a regular sugar check anyway) so I got up and confirmed what I thought was the case – low battery on the pump.  I went ahead and checked him and he was 309.  I bolused him, then the pump beeped again and said “Bolus Cancelled – 0.00 of 0.45 units delivered.” 
So I did it again and got the same message.  Apparently it doesn’t deliver when the battery is low???  I managed to get the pump off of him without waking him and took it out in the kitchen to change the battery – which isn’t as simple as just removing and replacing it – you have to prime and rewind the whole thing – it’s a process, generally lengthened by the haze of deep sleep  when it takes place in the middle of the night! 

I got it up and running and took it back into the bedroom and somehow managed to plug him back in all without waking him.  (This is a feat since I had to put the pump in the holster, then feel under his sleeve to find the "button," then click the tubing into the button - all by touch and feel only.  Go me!)

So then I bolused him.  And because of the previous error messages, I checked the history after bolusing and it had bolused him twice. Dangit!  Now my mind was freaking out, thinking he'd drop really low due to too much insulin, so I turned off his basal completely and got up 2 hours later to check him again (I've heard horror stories about children going low in the night and not waking up).  At 2:30, he was 125 which is good, but I didn’t want him to run low later, due to not eating in the night, so I gave him a bit of juice, went back to bed, and got up at 4:30 for my workout.  I checked, just to make sure he was breathing (I'm a super paranoid mom, and do this every single morning when I get up), and headed out to the gym. 
Then after working out, I was undressed and hopping into the shower when he woke up.  He came into the bathroom begging for breakfast . Thinking he was low, I went out into the kitchen (yes, in all my glory because I was worried about his sugar level!), and Matt woke up at that point, and took over so I could get in the shower.  After I got out of the shower, I went back out in the kitchen and treated his blood sugar and carbs.  Then, I asked Matt if he had already treated his blood sugar and he had.  DANGIT!  I got upset, but with no one other than myself for not checking first.  So I gave him a pop tart, once again thinking that his sugar would bottom out from too much insulin.

We got dressed and headed to daycare.  At daycare, I checked him before leaving and he was 419.  Yikes.  So I bolused him and I’m now hoping he’s ok this morning.  But on my drive to work, as my mind was sprinting off in 14 directions, I got to thinking that the pump is smarter than me. 

When you treat blood sugar, the insulin is “on board,” or active for 2 to 3 hours, and the pump always figures that and tells you how much IOB (insulin on board) there is and subtracts for that in the dosage.  So, in all reality, when I thought I was bolusing him twice for his blood sugar, the pump would have subtracted that insulin that was already in his system, and he was probably fine, so the pop tart I gave him just sent him through the roof.

Needless to say, the night time fiasco, combined with my idiot moment at breakfast put me in a pretty crap mood to start the day.  I snapped at Matt for no reason, though I did apologize before he left for work.  Then, I'd told Hendrix yesterday that we'd take the route he likes to take to school today, and completely forgot and went the "wrong way" to school, which upset him.  Hey, these things are big deals when you're three.  So I was feeling terribly guilty about going back on my word I'd given him the day before.  I was feeling terribly guilty for potentially putting Jameson's health in danger.  It's not like he can take care of his own diabetes at age two.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I'm going to snuggle them and laugh with them and play with them tonight and we're going to have fun.  And we'll start over tomorrow.  This isn't the last crap day I have with diabetes, and it's obviously not the first.  That's just the nature of the beast that is diabetes.

Have a great day, friends.  And thank you for listening to my rants!


  1. I saw another post of your due to facebook. I am up late due to my child being high and needing extra shots, and having to stay up to monitor him to make sure he does not get too low. I just found out he had diabetes this March. Sounds like your child is on the pump.

  2. reading this I can only imagine what my poor mom went through dealing with my diabetes and needles (there was no pump back then, thank God, I started giving my own insulin at 8) good thing for her I walk up when I'm low,and know I need to wake someone else up too (I still do this much to my husband's annoyance) good luck with the pump and he's blood sugar ( I still use injections)

  3. I saw your blog because a friend posted your article about your kids not being the center of the world - (I liked the post by the way!) and then I saw this post on the sidebar and it grabbed my attention because I live with type 1 diabetes. I was wondering what kind of pump your son has that makes it so difficult to change the battery? Have you looked at others? I have a medtronic mini-med and all you have to do is put a new battery in and you are done! Anyway- I understand part of the struggle - it's different having it yourself and your child having it - I don't think I'll ever figure out how to completely control it! Good luck!

  4. Wow, lady. My husband has type 1 diabetes and thankfully, so far, our little one does not. I can't imagine having to manage this on top of the other craziness involved with parenting. You are a super-mama.