Monday, October 5, 2015

A Bit of Honesty.

Guys, I enjoy blogging. My blog isn't super well known (despite going viral almost two years ago), and I'm far from famous. But I don't care. That's never been my goal. My original plan with this blog was to keep family and friends updated on our life, and that's still the goal.

Two of my favorite blogs, are written by two ladies who just live their lives doing what they enjoy, they blog about their days, some recipes, some fitness, and they aren't really dedicated to one thing in particular. That's always kind of been what my blog has been about, and I don't see that changing.

So, with that said, you can probably expect to see a little more from me, though I'm not committing to any kind of schedule or anything. Just sharing my life with those that care to know about it. :)
I think a good place to start is what's been going on in the last few months of life.
Six months ago, we relocated from western South Dakota to west Michigan. I said little to nothing about our move on any kind of social media because I was upset about it. Matt's warehouse/office in Rapid City was closing (he buys produce to sell to grocery stores), and he could either find another job in Rapid City, or relocate to the company headquarters in Grand Rapids, MI. Obviously, you know the route he took.

I'm a real person, so I'll be honest. This was a very difficult thing for me. I had friends and people in South Dakota that meant a great deal to me, and I genuinely felt a part of the community. I was five weeks into a new job that I really enjoyed when he came home one day and told me the Rapid City warehouse was closing. I remember simply walking upstairs to the bathroom without saying a word, closing the door, and crying. Because before it was ever discussed, I knew what the outcome would be.

I put my notice in at my job (which was extremely difficult), and started looking for a job in Michigan. I found a temp opportunity at SpartanNash (same company Matt works for). I wasn't thrilled about a temp job, but a temp job in Ohio in 2008 turned into permanent employment that lasted for four and a half years, so I tried to remain positive. I did end up getting permanently hired into the company, and the job is going well. But I'd be lying if I said everything is awesome with life here in Michigan.

I don't believe in the constant fake portrayal of perfection on social media. I could choose to show pictures of camping trips, smiles, backyard football games, my adorable kids, make comments about how blessed I am (which I am, don't get me wrong), and make it look like it's all sunshine and roses. But I try to keep it real. I'm lonely, and my heart is struggling.

I was talking with someone locally, and he told me that people in west Michigan are quite "provincial," meaning they don't accept new people into their fold. I've found that to be very true. I've reached out within the celiac community, the type 1 diabetes community, we've visited two churches, and I feel like I'm hitting brick walls. People will make small talk, but it's like no one is looking to form any kind of relationships or friendships beyond the ones they already have. I'm frustrated.
I'll be ok, no need to worry. I'm just kind of "stuck" in this funk right now. My sweet and ornery boys continue being the happiness in my world, and I'm drinking in their silliness as much as possible.
I'm also trying to refocus and relocate my fitness motivation that's gone by the wayside since we moved. I've put on a few pounds (nothing crazy), and they've been VERY stubborn. My focus is no longer a specific body fat percentage, or even a number on the scale though. It's health. I want to be physically fit, healthy heart, and healthy mind and soul. The last part has been the most challenging, but I'm a work in progress!
We're headed into the most crazy and busy time of the year, and with my limited spending budget this year, I hope to busy myself with some homemade gifts for the little ones in the family. (SEVEN kids besides my own to buy/create for this year. Ouch.)
There is an early Thanksgiving family get-together at my parents' house in a few weeks, and I'm ridiculously excited for that. There will be family in from Illinois, Missouri, Arizona, and Michigan.
So - lots to look forward to in the coming months. Hopefully I can break out of this funk.
In the mean time, if you have any positive vibes or prayers to send my way, they wouldn't hurt!
Thanks for sticking by me as I try to figure out how I want to continue being involved in social media, as well as work through a bit of a tough time in my life.
Posts moving forward will hopefully be a bit more fun and positive!

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